Ron Jeremy

Sunday, September 6, 2009

So my wife and I got tickets to the AVN porn convention in Las Vegas. It's like Comic Con for perverts. I was excited to see, up close, the faces that I've jerked off to so many times. We dressed up for the convention. We wanted to look classy. There was a big line to get in. People were handing out sample movies, lubes, and oils while we were in line. Once we got in we received a gift bag full of goodies (toys, more lube, pictures, movies, and t-shirts). I made sure my camera had batteries to catch all the excitement. I got my picture taken with all my heroes. I imagine it's what a kid feels like when they meet their favorite athlete, without the boner.

After about two hours of wonderment (and a raging hard on) we decided to leave. On our way out the backdoor (hehe, backdoor) we saw the man, the myth, the legend, Ron Jeremy. He was doing an interview with Playboy radio and, surprisingly, there were not many people around. I knew we had to get his autograph and pictures taken with him. We walked over and patiently waited while he finished his interview. I asked him if my wife could get her picture taken with him. He said "sure." I took the picture and then asked for his autograph. Being Ron Jeremy, he signed my wife's boob. He then said "those are some nice tits." He proceeded to pull them out of her low cut shirt and pop them in his mouth!

I figured this is the kind of moment I needed to get a picture of. I had already turned off the camera. I said to him "keep sucking, I have to get this camera back on." He said (with a mouthful of my wife's breast) "No problem, I could do this all day." By this time a large crowd of people had gathered. As I fumbled with the camera I heard this guy say, "she has a wedding ring on, that's someones wife." I said proudly, "she is my wife and I'm trying to get a picture of this if I figure out this fucking camera." He shook his head out of jealousy I can only imagine. I finally got the camera ready and took the picture.

I thanked him for the picture and autograph. He thanked my wife by planting an opened mouth kiss on her. She pulled up her shirt and walked away not too happy. I was obviously not concerned because I was showing people the picture on the display like a new father would show a picture of his first born. I'm just lucky he didn't pull out his hog. I may have been a bit embarrassed at that point. Maybe not.




Anonymous said...

I can only do one thing about this...laugh my arse off!

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