The Four Lick Wonder

Saturday, May 8, 2010

So this new little slut with huge tits started at my work, so I immediately asked some leading questions to find out if she was single, slutty, or both. Turns out it was both. Now it is not my style to bang a girl who has a boyfriend or husband, but beggars can't be choosy and I already mentioned she had big tits.

I started some simple flirting to see how she would react. It went pretty well. I could tell it was only a matter of time before she would be experiencing the seconds hours of joy that several  many other unlucky lucky ladies had hated enjoyed.

On the fourth day of working with her(I know, right?) she gave me her number and told me to text her when I got home. Now if this wasn't a sign that she wanted to fuck I don't know what is.

When I got home I texted her to say hello. She texted back how bored she was and wanted something fun to do when she got off. I figured that was the opening I was looking for. Before I sent my response, I thought of the repercussions if she was offended considering I was her boss, but if I let possible repercussions affect my judgment I might not have so many stories or restraining orders. So I threw out the following text. "You should come over when you get off so I can fuck the shit out of you".  I nervously waited for a response. After a few anxious minutes she responded with, "What is your address?" Score! I texted her my address and started cleaning my room.

An hour or so later she arrived. Wanting to make sure she was for real I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom. We started kissing when she said, "Hold that thought, I'll be right back" and headed for the bathroom. I started to think that it had been awhile since I had last unsatisfied satisfied a women and I might not last too long. I probably should have had that thought before she got there but I was a bit distracted with the impending coitus. I was so hard after some kissing and light petting(gross) that I knew this was going to be shorter than I would like for a first time with a new girl so I made a quick decision. I needed to rub one out before she came back. Now I know this wasn't the brightest idea but with that much baby batter on the brain I wasn't thinking clearly. I started feverishly stroking and just before I popped, I heard the door opening so I quickly stopped. She walked in, dropped to her knees and yanked down my shorts. After two licks I new I didn't have long so i tried thinking of things that would distract me. No luck. Four licks and splat. I shot a porn style load all over her face. She recoiled and looked up at me. "What was that?" she said. "You just turn me on so much baby" is the best I could come up with. She got up and said, "Well, I guess I'll go." I tried to plead with her that I'd be good to go in a few minutes and it would be worth her time but she wasn't having it. She said, "See you at work" and walked out.

I figured it wouldn't be long before she told everyone about my quick trigger so I did what any reasonable person would do. I told our immediate supervisor that she was drinking on the job and got her fired. Problem solved. I'm so smart.


Culture Served Raw said...

Hilarious post! "You just turn me on so much baby" - good effort

I love how everything worked out so well :)

T.J. Carson said...

haha. Cracked me up!

Juz said...

Bwha ha ha!

Christine said...

That's when you must ask yourself, "What would Hasselhoff do?" Doesn't the Guide To Keeping a Slut in your apartment specifically say on page 127 to have cockTAILS on hand? You must have misread it.

Anonymous said...

My husband shot my eye out the other day while I was on my knees. We like to laugh about this. I suppose me looking up at him with my little pink tongue thrust out was just too much.

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