Red Wings

Friday, September 18, 2009

So I was having this party at my house and I took my girlfriend into my bedroom for some action. We had only been dating for a week, so things were still pretty new between us in the sack. We went into my room and I figured I'd get her engines going so I started to go down on her. She stopped me and said,  "You might not want to do that." Being pretty new to regular sex I figured she was self conscious about her smell. Wanting to show her what a good guy I was I said, "Don't worry, just sit back and enjoy."

Well it didn't take much convincing because she laid back and I started licking like my life depended on it. She was moaning and screaming so loud I figured everyone at the party could hear, not that I cared. About ten minutes into it I thought to myself, I must be doing a good job because she is really wet. Not overly concerned with why it tasted like I had rusty nails in my mouth, I continued to lap at her like a thirsty dog drinks from his water dish. Eventually she said, "I can't wait any longer, just fuck me already!" "Sure thing my dear" I replied. Still wearing my white Bad Religion t-shirt (classy, I know) I started to give her what she wanted.

I finished and got up to do my victory lap around the party. I walked out to looks of terror. BM was the first to say something. He asked, "Is she all right?" I proudly replied "She is now." After waiting for a high five that never came, I noticed everyone looking at me really weird. I couldn't understand why I was getting the looks I was. I figured they were just jealous and headed to the bathroom to clean up. When I turned on the lights I almost puked. I could now see why I was getting the looks I was. My shirt was covered in blood. My hands and fingers were covered in blood. I had blood in my chin hair and all over my face.

I immediately knew where the rust taste had come from. Apparently when the bitch said "I might not want to do that" she meant because she was on the fucking rag! I started scrubbing with soap and water completely disgusted. Having checked on the slut, BM and JH came to the bathroom door and started to laugh. They said all they heard was moaning and screaming then I walked out covered in blood. Everyone thought I had killed her. I wish I had.


Anonymous said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth. Funny and sick.

Destiny said...

OMFG!!! Im so sorry!!!! LMFAO!! I can't stop laughing. Hilarious!!

No. Shan't. said...

It takes a brave man to swim in red waters, but it takes a hero to drink from them.

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