Salt in the Wound

Monday, February 22, 2010

So JH was having some people over at his house and things were getting pretty crazy. In JH's parents room was a slut who was fucking everyone. Like the classy teenagers we were, we put up a now serving sign on the door and had people take numbers. JW went second with the whore, which really pissed JH off. He yelled through the door, "I had number two you fucking fagot!" Number one or number fifty, the whore had enough taste to not bang JH but he didn't see it that way. It was his house, so he figured he should go in the top three. He wasn't greedy.

After JW finished and came out, he and JH started to argue. JH stated his case as to why he should have gone second, apparently not considering that the slut wanted no part of him. JW thought it was funny which made JH all the more angry. JW decided he would just go outside and avoid JH.

Since JW was drunk and never wore shoes (dirty hippie) he sliced his foot open on a broken bottle while outside. He ran inside and started to wash the gaping wound in the sink. He yelled for JH to bring him something to help with the bleeding.

Still mad that his turn was taken on the slut, JH walked up to JW and said, "I got something to help." He then threw a big handful of salt into JW's giant open wound. JW started to scream. JW jumped off the sink counter and chased JH outside.

After a few minutes JW ran into the house and slammed the door to JH's room. JH walked in laughing and asked where JW was. I pointed to the closed door of his bedroom. JH walked over and opened the door and found JW standing on his bed in mid piss. His foot still bleeding everywhere,  JW was gleefully peeing all over JH's bed. JH tackled JW right into the piss and blood and they began to wrestle. It was all very homo erotic.

Poor BM missed the whole thing because he was in the bedroom pounding away on the slut.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks dude. When I asked for this story I forgot all about the fact that my future girlfriend was in there going round robin on all my friends. This will be the second post that makes me laugh and sick to my stomach every time I read it.

Snafugirl said...

I think I'm in love...with your blog.

Amanda West said...

Um, that's just crazy.

Gross.

And hilarious.

OG said...

When I started reading this post - I thought "where is this going?" And the answer was...in a an entertaining direction. I'm glad I read on.

Sarah P said...

So, I started reading your blog and for a few minutes I felt like I was contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Then, I saw that you were watching the Truman Show in high school.
Then, I realized that meant that after I read about your poop-licking ex, I continued reading your blog.
And I liked it.

LJ ♥ said...

This makes me think of something my husband once told to me. What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut fucks everyone. A bitch fucks everyone but youuuu. I think JW got his panties in a ruffle over a bitch. Yep. Poor fuckin bastard.

Stylez said...

To be fair, JW, BM, and JH teamed a girl later that week and all was good.

LJ ♥ said...

Fair? That exists in this world? Intriguing!

Stylez said...

What's not fair is that that they didn't invite me to run the train on the girl. Maybe your right.

LJ ♥ said...

I told you sooooooooooooooooo. You gotta watch yer own ass n get your own bitches. Brutha. Shorties n forties n Bob's your uncle but not really. It's all written down somewhere in Life's Great Book of Truths.

Cupcake said...

My mouth was literally hanging open the entire time I read this!

Holy shit! I'd have pissed all over his bed too, to bad there was no camera rolling! That shit would have been AWESOME on YouTube!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I hope JH was charging. You don't host a whore without gettin' a cut, or a free lay.

You Make My Date said...

Freaking hilarious! I love your blog and your writing style...But the question is, what number were you that night?

Stylez said...

I believe I had number 5 or 6, but BM wouldn't leave the room once he got in. So selfish that one.

Starts with one said...

holy fuck...like this blog, lots and lots.

 
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